The Kidnapping of Kagura, or Okita's Jealousy
by DecidedlyPositive
Summary: In which Okita is convinced that his rival has been kidnapped, Kagura is bored out of her mind, and Hijikata just comes along for the ride.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Gintama, not the characters, zip. Nada. Null.

_Summary: In which Okita is convinced that his rival has been kidnapped, Kagura is bored out of her mind, and Hijikata just comes along for the ride. _

Okita Sougo's eye twitched, a flashing warning sign to anyone that knew him that clearly communicated he was angry. Next to him, Hijikata exhaled a long, irritated stream of smoke from his ever-present cigarette, casting an annoyed look at the Prince of Sadists next to him in their hiding place. His day had started out fine, he had consumed a delicious dish of mayonnaise and rice at breakfast, smoked, trained with the men of the Shinsengumi (a.k.a, he had stood by and mercilessly watched as they sparred and worked out in the sweltering sun), and smoked some more. However, at about four in the afternoon, Okita had shown up, and after a failed attempt at switching his cigarette with a stick of dynamite, demanded Hijikata help him to save a victim of kidnap.

And that was how Hijikata ended up hiding in an alleyway with his underling, spying on a certain orange-haired alien girl's date…which reminded him, why the hell was he still here? "Ne, Sougo, China doesn't look like she's being kidnapped. Seems more like she's just enjoying herself with a male friend."

Okita glowered at him, and snorted disbelievingly. "Hah, what man would actually want the monster girl as a girlfriend? No doubt about it, she's being lured into being sold for slavery or— did he just grab her hand?!" Several trashcans were knocked over in Okita's haste to get a closer look at the blissfully unaware couple, making a huge racket.

Hijikata sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, praying for patience. Really, Okita was taking his obsession with China just a bit too far. Okita may be a sadist, a genius, and one of the most fearsome fighters of the day, but at the moment he had been reduced to a jealous, 19-year-old boy spying on a girl he was attracted to. Pitiful. Despite this, Hijikata thought it wise to stay and keep an eye on the situation, just to make sure Sougo didn't brutally kill China's date.

"Quick, Hijikata-san, they're passing onto the main street!" Okita instantly shot up, dragging his superior with him, and began to covertly follow the alien girl. After all, China _was_ his rival, he had to make sure nothing happened to her so she would be in top condition for their next battle.

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Kagura groaned softly under her breath. This had to be one of the dullest days in her entire existence. Kenji-san was truly a nice guy, but a little on the unremarkable and totally _boring_ side. Heck, she hadn't even known the man until today. He was one of ane-go's many acquaintances. The date Kagura was attending today had been Tae's _brilliant_ idea, as she proclaimed that at fifteen, it was high time Kagura be introduced to the wonderful world of dating. Stupid Gin-chan and Shinpachi weren't even in town at the moment, a fact which Tae had blatantly been taking advantage of when she arranged the date, knowing that the poor boy would have been murdered by Kagura's overprotective friends. Anyways, dates weren't so great; it was more fun beating people up, in Kagura's opinion.

The date in question didn't even make up in looks for what he lacked in interestingness. His hair was typically black—Kagura preferred light colored hair, like light brown or dark blond. His eyes were a gentle blue—Kagura liked piercing brownish-red better. And his face was too full of sharp angles, she adored guys with round, baby-faces…immediately, Kagura gave herself a horrified mental slap as she realized just who she had been describing. _Che, I must be really, really out of it if I'm actually thinking longingly about the sadist,_ she thought miserably.

A soft cough caught Kagura's attention. Kenji smiled nervously at her, saying, "S-so, Kagura-chan, you're currently employed at the Yorozuya with Tae-san's little brother, right? What's your job there?"

Kagura grinned wickedly. "Lots of things, uh-huh. Finding lost kittens, being a carpenter, learning awesome ninja skills, kicking the crap out of gangs, and beating up aliens who try to hurt my Gin-chan."

Unsurprisingly, Kenji paled, coughed again, and quickly grabbed Kagura's hand. He managed to stutter out, "Um, Kagura-chan, there's a dango shop over on main street, do you—do you want to get some?"

Almost simultaneously, several loud sounds reached their ears from a nearby alley, sounding like the metallic clangs of trashcans. Shrugging, and privately thinking that Kenji had better have come with lots of cash due to the amount of food she could eat, Kagura merely answered with a "Sure, why not?".

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Okita's reddish-brown eyes narrowed as he watched China and the guy, whoever the bastard was, approach a love hotel on one side of the street. That was probably where the rendezvous point for the bastard's cohorts was, where they would knock the alien girl unconscious and they'd sell her on the black market or something equally heinous. Who knew what kind of price rare aliens fetched? His rival was truly stupid, going into a place like that with a man. And he'd thought danna and the glasses kid had properly warned her against doing foolish things like that. His hand reached menacingly towards his cannon and pointed it towards the hotel's direction, causing a "What the hell do you think you're doing Sougo!" to come from Hijikata.

Okita regarded the vice-captain innocently. "Hijikata-san, that place has been under Shinsengumi surveillance for some time now, criminal activity has been suspected of going on within it. I'm just going to get rid of the problem right now."

Hijikata swore, yanked the cannon from Okita's grasp, and pointed a finger towards the couple, who bypassed the hotel and headed into the dango shop next to it. "Idiot, they weren't even going in there. Use your eyes before you start destroying random buildings."

For the third time that day, Hijikata found himself being dragged along in Okita's iron grip in the direction of the dango shop, a maniacal grin on the younger man's face. The vice-captain of the Shinsengumi idly found himself wondering if he had enough money on him to pay for the damage that the alien and Okita were likely to cause to the shop when they saw each other. _Probably not_, he thought sourly.

Far too soon for his liking, Hijikata and Okita entered the little restaurant, Okita homing in on Kagura and her boyfriend. With an evil smirk, Okita strode over to the couple's table where Kagura was inhaling as many dango as she could, with a mildly fascinated and slightly disgusted boy watching her eat.

Okita frowned when he got a closer look at his rival, why the hell was she trying to dress up? She was clothed in a flowing cerulean kimono with a white blossom print on it, matching her bright eyes. Instead of her normal hairstyle of buns, her vibrant locks were loose around her shoulders, framing her face prettily. And—was that _makeup?_ Just when did she change from the miniature, loud-mouthed, umbrella-carrying brat he had known to a…_woman?_ If Okita had been ticked off before, now he was beyond angry, for reasons he couldn't quite explain.

Okita stopped in front of her table with Hijikata beside him, an ominous and evil aura emitting from him. Kagura froze in the middle of her food-snarfing, and slowly looked up, an expression of utter surprise and flickers of horror blooming across her face. The look clearly read: _What the heck are _you_ doing here??_

"Oi, China, just what do you think you're doing?" Okita drawled, his gaze focusing on her.

Kagura glared, seeing red. "It happens to be called a date, you insufferable jerk, not that you've ever been on one before. I don't think any girl would ever be able to put up with your personality for that long, uh-huh." She childishly stuck her tongue out at Okita.

"Huh, is that the reason for the war paint? I must say China, if you were trying to look like a girl, you failed miserably."

"Shut up, sadist bastard!"

"By the way, since you technically aren't human, wouldn't this count as an interspecies relationship? Didn't know you were so twisted, monster girl."

"Hah, you're accusing **me** of being twisted, Mr. I-find-pleasure-in-drowning-kittens-and-torturing-people?"

"U-uhm, maybe you two should—", Kenji began, but the livid looks Okita and Kagura sent him effectively shut him up. Hijikata placed a hand on the frightened boy's shoulder, while taking a drag of his cigarette with the other. "Don't worry about it kid, they always get this was 'round each other. But, just as an outside observer, I'd say your date's over."

Meanwhile, Kagura had stood up during her verbal battle with Okita, making the two stand practically nose to nose. The metaphorical flames of rivalry were rising higher and higher around them, fueled by their heated words and glares.

"China, aren't you a little young for this sort of thing? Aren't you only twelve or thirteen? I could probably arrest your date on inappropriate conduct with a minor…"

"I'm fifteen, stupid idiot!"

Okita smirked. "Sorry China, but from your figure it's kinda difficult to tell…" And with that snide remark, Kagura literally leapt at Okita, letting go of her control over her bloodthirsty Yato heritage. Hijikata merely watched in a bored fashion, and Kenji gaped in shock, as Okita and Kagura crashed through a wall of the dango shop, each battling to get the upper hand.

When they landed outside the restaurant, they sprang apart from each other, only to jump at each other again and begin trading blows at the next moment. Kagura sent a fierce kick towards Okita, which the infuriating idiot dodged and returned with a punch. Kagura, catching the fist he aimed at her, threw his body into the building next door, and dove at him to deliver a finishing punch of her own. Okita blocked, grabbed her arm, and swung her back against the building, trapping her body with his own.

Kagura was breathing hard after the brief fight, and the glare she leveled Okita with would certainly have killed a lesser man on the spot. It was a glare that promised death by Sadaharu later. When she spoke, it was through clenched teeth. "What. Gave. You. The. Right. To. Ruin. My. Date."

Okita smirked, his brown eyes clashing with the blue of Kagura's in a charged gaze, an unreadable expression in his. "Just watching out for your best interests, alien girl."

"What?! Watching out for my—"

"China."

"What, sadist?"

"You're not allowed to dress up like this anymore."

"Just what the hell do you mean by—"

And Kagura was abruptly cut off by a soft pressure on her lips, her brain momentarily short-circuiting at the feel of Okita's lips. When he spoke, he moved his mouth against hers, murmuring softly, "You're not allowed to dress up like this for anyone…except me, China." With that, he pulled away from a dazed and blushing Yato girl, calling out, "Yo, Hijikata, I'm done here! Let's go back to HQ!"

Hijikata joined Okita from the inside of the dango shop, curiously looking back at the frozen form of the Yorozuya member. "Oi, Sougo, just what'd you do to her? I don't want Sakata after my blood if you mentally scarred the girl in some way." Hijikata's only reply was a mysterious grin from Okita, and a loud, confused scream of "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" that echoed throughout the streets behind them as they walked off into the night.

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**Hey! Just a little note to any readers: I would really appreciate any reviews you guys could give me, such as helpful criticism, tips, or praise. Seeing as it's my first fanfiction, I'm a little nervous about my writing. Thanks for reading!**


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